So.. apparently and luckily, she's chosen her bf over me. At least my plan didn't go all wrong. To see her hurt, sad and moody was perhaps my doing. I regret having you sad and tortured, but I don't regret ever falling for you, ever touching you, ever doing all the stuff we do at night, on the day, etc. Again, apparently, I REALLY REALLY do love her.. I almost stayed up all night just thinking, 'is this really my last sight of you?', 'is this the last time I can look close up to your face?', 'is this really the last time I can touch you and caress you?', 'was it the last time i could taste her cookings?', 'will i ever see her again in the audience seat while I play my heart out feeling that I'm being watched and loved?', and so many questions just kept appearing in my head... I ended up not sleeping and crying all night long..

I enjoy every little piece of second with you.. I enjoy how you looked at me.. I enjoy how you smile because of me.. Laugh because of my stupid acts and jokes (lip-syncing on the bus).. I enjoy how you 'came' because of me.. I enjoy every little piece bit of you. Your touches, your kisses, your cookings, your blushings, your awkward thingy, your smile, your bullying, all your face expressions, when you hold your loved bears, when you hear the word 'chocolate', when you crave for pizzas and pastas, when you crave for sweet things, anyway, i enjoy every little thing you did and you didn't.

I LOVE YOU

but those words can only connect just until the coming Sunday, and I hope I can really treasure these last moments of May-June (hopefully not forever), cause I really do love her.. I really care about her, I wanna have her childs (tho she doesn't wanna be pregnant, but we'll figure out #asif), I wanna build a family with her, feeling calm when I see her face and smile, feeling at peace, feeling like I don't need anything else if I have her..

Those wishes.. I hope they can last forever.. all depending on our destiny..